Curtir: 
Recebi um e-mail da cip sobre o Fiction Fighters, alguem quer traduzir?
Ae pessoal, a Cip Soft me mandou um e-mail sobre as novidades do Fiction Fighters (Fiction Fighters Newletter), mais tem um problema, mandaram em ingles, eu li e nun intendi nada, vo copiar ele aqui no tópico para ver se alguem se interessa:
Welcome dear reader... for a new edition of "Medical Newsletter X - Stellar Surgery".
Today's limit breaking medical topic will be... HUMANS! "What?", you will say, "How boring!". Au contraire! I promise to unveil a thrilling if not shocking truth! Prepare to be stunned in true scientific manner!
Chapter 1: History
Humans came into existence long after us trolls. But, as things go with evolution they transformed, quasi over night, to sentient intelligent beings. One day you go to sleep, and when you get up, you are surrounded by a human settlement and some humans have fun bashing on your head with axes. Talk about a splitting headache! Luckily humans have never invented anything that could harm trolls. After realising this, a friendly relationship between humankind and trollkind started to bloom. This means: a lot of unexpected irritation for humans and a lot of unexpected entertainment for trolls. But, honour to whom honour is due, they invented the four greatest things EVER:
1. Disco!
2. Fashion
3. Marshmallow Sandwiches
4. Did I mention Disco?
Chapter 2: Morphology
The average human can be described as a sack of meat featuring a middle-rate stability endoskeleton. Inside their head swims a funky grey thing called "brain". Zombies seem to have an affection for it, but other than that the purpose of the brain is still an unsolved mystery. They have a number of other organs inside which cause them much trouble. That's why the concept of organs was discarded by trolls long ago. Only water trolls keep some goldfish as pet organs inside for practical reasons. It seems that humans are a bit careless about their own evolution, indeed.
Chapter 3: Behaviour
Humans have long since adopted the trollish tradition of wearing stuff. They call the stuff clothing, though. Wearing clothes just for the sake of it is bland. It only makes sense to dress to the nines if other people can admire your style. Right! In this case humans seem to share the trollish urge to brag around. By the way... you did notice my shiny new helmet, didn't you?
Chapter 4: A shocking revelation
Now... prepare to be stunned! You, dear reader, are (most probably) human, too. Sorry. It's not curable. But hey, take it easy, not everybody can be born as a troll. You can attend a troll reenactment lesson*, still (Library Block 104, Room 1123, Monday 4pm - 5pm, Thursday 3pm - 4 pm, reservations in advance, 0800-I-WANT-TO-BE-A-TROLL).
Conclusion:
OK, now that I got your attention... feel free to take a look at the human denizens of Fiction Fighters. I took the liberty to supply a picture, just for your convenience.
* Alternatively there are a few humans that are called trolls. They mostly use internet message boards to reveal themselves to the public. Perhaps they have some hints on how to become a troll. It still remains a x-filed mystery how they managed to transform into trolls. Perhaps they use a flashy slogan like "Troll Ranger X ULTRA TRANSFORMATION! GO!".
Before I return to my research... Reader Q&A:
- Medical Ranger X.
Granny Smith wrote:
My dear Professor,
Regarding your last newsletter, I noticed that you didn't clean the bolt creases of your ZU-KA 101. Young man, don't you know that the primary lock release hammer may become blocked. This will make the projectile detonate right in your face and you might lose an eye! I insist that you tidy your gun at once. You seem to be a nice troll, though. Perhaps you could pay me a visit sometime. We could have a chat about old times and enjoy tea and self-baked cookies. Until then I will have finished knitting a jungle camouflage cover for your helmet to keep you warm during cold, gunfire lit nights in the trenches.
- Good boy, Granny
Answer:
Dear Granny,
Thank you for your helpful hints regarding the gun. I will start cleaning the bolt... hammer... thingy... whatever immediately. Don't worry for my safety, though. I am a rock troll and thus made of rock. This often helps with detonation based survival issues, from which many humans seem to suffer. I will of course gladly pay you a visit, madam. Nothing beats self-baked cookies.
- Only the best wishes, Professor
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